The birth of my two preemies

If this is your first time here, please read McKenzie's and Avery's birth stories!

McKenzie's birth story

Avery's birth story

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Happy 2nd Birthday Chloe and then some

Today is Chloe's birthday, i cant believe my baby girl is 2 years old already. We didn't really do much today other than lay around and spend time together, that and she got to watch some extra Dora today! Today i realized that my daughter is no longer a baby, but she is in fact a big girl. A very smart, funny and EXTREMELY verbal big girl. Chloe is all about telling you exactly what she wants and thinks about EVERYTHING. She already counts to 10 and knows some of her colors. We are trying to work on her alphabet now. She tells me all the time that she loves me and more importantly she SHOWS me that she loves me.
I also realized today as my daughter turned 2 that i want more. I thought for a while that she was going to be my only living baby, but today i realized that isn't what i want. I do want more kids, and i hope that i get to have more kids.

Friday, April 23, 2010

i feel like people are forgetting

I feel like people are forgetting McKenzie. It breaks my heart, i dont want people to forget her, i want people to celebrate her and honor her memory. I want her to remain a memory for people.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

pregnancy tests

just a cruel reminder of what i may never have again or hope for the future? I dont know, but i have some. They came in the mail free from the sacred hearts mission (because i signed up to get them). What the hell was i thinking?

Saturday, April 17, 2010

cloth diapering

i love it, i love them. the prints are cute, and chloe doesnt get rashes like she used to. I dont mind all the work (if you call it that) that goes into the cloth diapering like the washing and scraping he poop off of them. Really the rewards for us are well worth the work that goes into it.

Thursday, April 15, 2010


Dear McKenzie,

Today you turned 11months old. Today i felt you, i felt you near me, protecting me and just letting me know that you are watching over me. Today was an amazing day, beautiful and sunny, and oh so quiet. Today i havent shed a tear, not because i dont love you, in fact i love you more and more everyday. Today i havent shed a tear simply because i am grateful. I am grateful (sorry if i spelled it wrong) for every second that i had with you. I am grateful that i got to hold you and love you, you my tiny little angel have changed our lives forever. I think of you everyday and your sister tells me everyday that she loves her sissy. I love you forever and ever baby girl.

love always

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

we bought chloe's bithday present

for her birthday this year we decided to get chloe something practical and something she will love, so we ordered her 3 new cloth diapers! I am so freaking stoked and i cannot wait to see the look on her face when she sees them. Have i mentioned how much she loves her cloth diapers?!?! WOOT, this is going to be a good birthday for her.

i ordered her diapers from (shameless plug for a friend), so really if anyone out there reading this is a cloth diaper(er) or wants to cloth diaper, i strongly urge you to order from there. She is really knowledgeable about her products and really helpful!

in other news, we as a family (including phillip's 13yr old sister) have been playing "Just Dance" for the Wii every night. We play 10 rounds and let me tell you that is a work out, and its a total blast. I am continuing to try and lose weight (down 28lbs now) and this is helping me. I highly reccomend this game for everyone to play, thanks to my amazing friend Trish who told me i had to buy it, boy was she right!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

chloe's birthday wish list

im posting this here too, i just wanted to make sure that everyone that needs/wants to know sees.

just in case you were wondering...

chloe is in size 24m-2T for summer/fall clothes and 2T-3T for winter clothes

size 6.5 shoes

she LOVES anything and EVERYTHING Dora

she is also seriously addicted to Puffs

books, she LOVES books

any diapers off of this registry (password is HUNT) she LOVES cloth diapers and we need more

chloe's take on her sister

we have quite a few pictures of mckenzie up, including ones from her funeral of her casket with a picture on each side. Everytime chloe asks who it is, we tell her that it is her sissy McKenzie. Chloe now sees the pictures and tells us "dats sissy".

Today chloe was watching the slide show i have as my screensaver on my laptop and saw the picture from mckenzie's funeral that is of her casket with her picture next to it. She looked at me and pointed to it and said "dats sissy in bed". I kissed her on the head and told her "yep, that is sissy in her bed"

Friday, April 9, 2010

ugh i am so behind

i hate being behind and right now i am behind in everything. i am behind in my laundry, blogging and just about every other aspect of my life. The most important thing that i am behind in is planning Chloe's birthday party, i have done nothing for it except pick the date/time and location. Today i addressed and stamped all of the invites and now all i need to do is mail them out. This week i need to go place an order for her birthday cake and get the stuff that i need for her party. Things have just been so crazy around here that i keep getting more and more behind on things, and the more behind i get the less motivation i have to get it done.
Phillip, Chloe and i are all fighting illnesses right now so that makes things even worse. But there are some upcomming events that i am looking forward to. On April 24th i have my march of dimes, march for babies walk in Modesto with my H.A.N.D girls. On April 25th is Chloe's birthday party and i get to see Susan (TW) and i actually have a surprise for her (HAHA susan!!). Then on April 29th is Chloe's actual birthday. On May 15th is McKenzie's first birthday and my March of Dimes, March for babies walk in stockton with my sister!
Phillip and I are also planning a 4(probably) day San Diego vacation in June! I cant wait to get to spend some vacation time with my 2 favorite people in the entire world, plus get to do the fun things that San Diego has to offer (none of us have ever been there).

Monday, April 5, 2010

RIP Robert W. Hunt

sorry in advance for spelling errors and crap, this may be a jumbled mess, i am working on next to no sleep.

dh's grandpa has been sick and in and out of the hospital for 2-3weeks now. This past week he was released for good to a "rehabilitation center" (it was really nursing home). We all knew his time was coming and so did he, but his only wish was he wanted to die at home.

Well we did our easter yesterday and i stayed with chloe at my sister's house so that i could see family from out of state again today since DH has to work. When DH got home he called me to tell me that he had just been told that his grandpa was put back in the hospital at sometime during the day yesterday and they were keeping him sedated and were not letting him wake up at all and he was not expected to live to today. Dh went at stayed at the hospital last night along with FIL and they were at his side all night. At 4:30am DH called me bawling and told me it was over and that he had passed away.

he was put in the hospital yesterday because they found out he had a perforated bowel, that had apparently been leaking inside him since he was originally put in the hospital. Had they caught it sooner they could have made him more comfortable the entire time, but they wouldnt have been able to fix it because he would not have lived through the surgery. The doctors told DH and FIL yesterday that there was a chance that it would leak into his lungs and he would choke to death but luckily it didnt and he went very peacefully. Dh said he kissed his cheek and said goodbye and his grandpa's breaths just started getting farther and farther apart until he took a big breath and that was it.

earlier today dh's grandpa told FIL that he knew he was dying and he was ready to go (his wife died exactly 20months ago). Our family just really needs prayers/good thoughts to help us cope with the loss, he was really an amazing man. DH and FIL are having an especially hard time with it.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

products and sites that i love

i want to take a minute to talk about some product and sites that i love.

the first one is...
she made me the most beautiful necklace with my daughters pictures on it. She does
amazing work and it a really really great person.

another one i love is...
she is a SAHM to two very beautiful children. She does hand painted shirts and onesies (she does adult shirts too). She made me a shirt with the pregnancy and infant loss awareness ribbon on it and McKenzie's name. She does great work and is another really great person!

the third place that i like is....
i have never actually ordered from there but i did receive two of their clippies as a gift from my elfster this past Christmas and i can honestly say they are beautiful and VERY well made!

here are a couple of places that i haven't ordered anything from YET but i plan to in the near future (both women are from the same online community as me)

i hope that you all like these sellers and products as much as i do!

my confession

i haven't written about it in a while because i haven't been really keeping up with it, my weight loss goal for the year is 60lbs, but i haven't really been exercising very much. I kind of have a lot going on right now and although that would make me more healthy it just isn't at the top of my list. Anyway i decided to put my weight loss ticker back up (in this post) even though it isn't moving very much. However i did lose 2lbs this month, not really a big deal but it is better than a weight gain right?!?

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