The birth of my two preemies

If this is your first time here, please read McKenzie's and Avery's birth stories!

McKenzie's birth story

Avery's birth story

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Dear Prematurity

Dear Prematurity,

In the last year and a half you have taken many things from me. You have taken my security and my hope that my pregnancy with Avery would be different. You took away my ability to be excited for the birth of my baby because nothing was guaranteed. You took away the excitement of going in to labor and replaced it with fear that my daughter might never get to know us or her sister and how much we love her. You took the smiles about expanding our family and replaced them with tears and fear. You took the security of home and replaced it with the uncertainty of the NICU. Some days it felt like you took more than I had to give and that I could no longer do it. As much as I hate you prematurity for all the things you took from me I want to Thank-you. Thank-you for all the amazing nurses and doctors you brought into my life. Thank-you for showing me that there are people in the world that care and that will lift you up when you feel like you can no longer lift yourself. Thank-you for bringing this amazing, spunky and fierce little fighter into my life. Thank-you for showing me that my husband is the single most caring person I have ever met in my life but dearest prematurity I want to thank-you most of all for showing me that I am stronger than I ever thought I could be in a million years.

I have spent the last 18 months hating myself and my body for the things you took from me but I will no longer hate myself because I realize I got way more from you than you ever took from me.