i want to be normal

I want to be that normal "care free" person again. That person that doesn't know what it is like to lose a child. The person that is blissfully unaware of just how bad things can be. I want to be that person that doesn't have to shelter or be afraid of what germs things have because any little germ can make my child VERY sick. I just for one second would like to jump back in time to remember what it was like to be completely blissfully happy with no heartache.