happy due date to us

or rather a not so happy due date in our case. Today, the 4th of July is my due date with little miss McKenzie. its such a hard bitter sweet day for me. I cant believe that i should have a little baby to be taking care of but instead will be going to by a flag to put on her grave so she can celebrate too. Words still seem to fail me most of the time, but they days have been getting easier, until this week of course. i suspect and hope that the days will start to get easier again soon. i am surviving, maybe i am not thriving but i certainly and surviving.