monday blues (a day early)

i know its only sunday but i already have the monday blues. Tomorrow was the day i should have been going in to become a mom of 2 under 2, on my moms birthday. But instead i will be swimming with my little sunshine and my mom, drowning my sorrows in a chlorine filled pool pretending that everything is ok. Both my mom and my MIL have taken me aside recently to talk to me about their concerns and they both think that i should call the number that the hospital gave me for group sessions for people in my situation. I am not sure i am going to call that number simply because i really dont want to do group sessions, or maybe i will call it and see if they have anything 1 on 1. I know i need to talk to a counselor or something because i know i am holding a lot in and things like that. I just wish that life were easier sometimes. I wish i still had my cell phone, but it was pay storage and keep all of our stuff or pay cell phones and loose all our things. I wish that i was able to sit here typing while i nursed my 5 week old. I wish i didnt lay in bed and cry most days. But i guess the moral of the story is that life isnt fair, but we have to learn to deal with the hand we were dealt.