My first day "alone"

today was my first day "alone". Meaning phillip went back to work today, It was bittersweet for me. As much as we need the money to pay back the $3,000 loan we got to help pay for the funeral (yes that is right 3grand is just what we STILL owe) i really wish he could stay home with me. I spent a lot of the day crying to myself. I am so sad, sad because i realized that McKenzie's 1month Angelversary is just a mere 6days away. I cant believe it has been that long since my whole world was turned upside down. I am starting to think that at just 13months old Chloe knows that there is something different. To some degree i believe that she knows that she isnt going to get a "take home sister".

I cried today because of the statistics of still birth, 1 in every 115 births in the US is a still birth, and in the US there are 26,000 still births a year!!! That is a discustingly high number. Our babies are dieing, my baby was one of those statistics.

Though i believe her death was not in vein, he death is going to help me to educate and inform people. Inform them that it does happen, and it happens way to often.

so i ask one favor of every single person reading my blog right now, please make me the promise that you wont ever let McKenzie's death be in vein, tell her story, help her educate and tell people that it does happen. Refer my blog if you want to. Keep her memory alive, and i will continue to do the same!