my first therapy appointment

i had my first therapy appointment today. It went really really well, it was mostly answering a lot of questions for her to kind of get to know me and my history. She thinks that a lot of things from my past are helping to contribute to the depression that i am feeling now. She told me that she also had a late loss (hers was full term) and i found some comfort in knowing that she had a knowledge of what i was feeling. We talked some about how everything i am feeling is starting to take its toll on my marriage.
I dont talk alot about the things going on in my marriage because that is one of the few things that i have to keep private these days. In the last almost 9months there has been put a lot of strain on us and our marriage. This in turn is causing us to fight, a lot. We love eachother and still want to be together of course, but WE BOTH need to make changes for the better. She gave me a paper on relationship killers to help us both recognize and hopefully work to improve the things we need to. I thought i would share the things on the paper.

seven relationship killers
by: william glasser
* criticizing
* blaming
* complaining
* nagging
* threatening
* punishing
* rewarding to control

additional relationship killers
by: Loni (i am not putting her last name for privacy reasons)
* cursing
* name calling
* bringing the past into current arguments
* the silent treatment
* withholding
* lying
* breaching trust

i can honestly say at this point that we have more on the list that we do than that we dont do, and that really isnt good. BUT we are going to work on it and us, and i am going to work on me. I have my next appointment is Feb 16th at 4:30pm. She also wants to have a combo session (with phillip and i both) after a couple of my individual sessions.