When i though of the family i would have someday i could have never imagined the turn my life would take or the journey that we would go through. I was naive and sheltered when it came to horrible things like losing a baby. I knew that miscarriages happened but as far as i was concerned baby loss after 12 weeks DID NOT HAPPEN. I was painfully and happily oblivious to the pain and heartbreak that many women face. I never could have imagined (as i am sure every women does) that i would be THAT mom, i would be the mom that would face outliving her child, i would be THAT mom, the mom that faces the trials and pains that come with the NICU journey. I never imagined in a million years that after having Chloe, becoming a mother again to another take home baby would be such a difficult thing.
Last night on the way to the NICU Phillip and I were talking and he very seriously told me "I refuse to ever outlive another one of our kids, I can't do it". It really got me thinking, this isn't something that just I didn't envision for my journey into parenthood. This is something that WE never imagined, this is something that Phillip and I are BOTH going through. This is OUR journey not just MY journey. This is a hard journey to have been on and still being on, but it is ours and though i never imagined this is how it would go i will embrace it because it is OURS and it has and will make us better in the end. We will get through it and we will be different people than when we started.
No comments:
Post a Comment