Avery is doing well tonight, the upped her feeding today to 30ml which is a full ounce! She is getting to be a big girl. She is 3lbs 6oz now but i suspect that she will lose some again. Tonight when we got there the nurse and the RT were busy with the baby next to Avery so we had to wait a little which was not a big deal. After the nurse took Avery's blood pressure and listened to her lungs she asked if we wanted to change her diaper and stuff. So I went and took her temp then went to change her diaper. When i got her diaper off she was poopy, but apparently had been poopy for a VERY long time. The poop was hard and crusty all over her butt. I of course was not expecting that so i didn't grab enough wipes *cue phillip getting me extra wipes*. It literally took me no less than 6 wipes to get all the stuck on poop off which of course took a few minutes and was pissing Avery off. I had to have her diaper off so long that as soon as i moved it Avery peed all over her bed. When Phillip told the nurse that Avery peed in her bed she proceeded to lecture me and give me a lesson on changing a diaper along with telling me what i did wrong. She then had to go get a new swaddling thing so she told the other nurse in the room that she was going to get it and acted like she was so put out by having to go do it. Then when she came back Phillip and I had already decided not to hold tonight because they were starting Avery's feed late and we really needed to cool off so we didn't smack the nurse. When she was listening to Phillip and I talk she turned around, looked at us and said "Oh, your holding her during her feed? Thats what your plan is?" followed by an eye roll. Yeah no, we decided we will hold her tomorrow night. Ugh, I'm a little upset that she made us feel unwelcome and miserable during our visit tonight along with being passive aggressive with us when she was talking to us (there is more i didn't even put in here).
Tomorrow is going to be emotional for me because Avery will be 1month old but she will also be 32weeks gestation. I started crying talking about it to Phillip on the way there tonight because we have a 1month old and don't have her home and really don't even have a light at the end of the tunnel right now. I am still emotional about my body failing her. Sigh
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