NICU, day 28

Tonight driving to the NICU i was emotional. I don't really like to talk about how the NICU makes me feel because it can be a lot of different emotions all at once.  It was nothing in particular that made me emotional, just the whole thought of going there to see her. I know just how lucky i am to have her (and Chloe and McKenzie too). I was emotional pulling into the parking lot today (as i am most nights) because when i pulled into that parking lot for the first time (in the ambulance) I knew that Avery was going to be born prematurely but i never could have imagined that she would be born as early as she was. Every time we pull into that parking lot all i feel is failure, my failure, my bodies failure to be able to carry her to term. When we pull in I can feel the tears in my eyes because i think of all the "what ifs". In my heart i know that i did the best i could, but getting my mind to agree is a completely different thing.

Anyway, on to the Avery update. She is doing fabulous, she lost 1/2 an ounce since yesterday so she now weighs 3lbs 4oz. She is 4 weeks old today. Nothing really new on the medical front, tomorrow morning she will have a chest x-ray just to make sure everything look good since he is on oxygen and all that jazz. Tonight was my night to hold her (Phillip and I trade off) and she giving me the eyebrows so i did it back to her, she gave me the biggest grin. I got to hold her for well over an hour, for her entire feeding.

Lately we have had a really nice nurse named Narissa (she is about our age). Narissa makes the whole visit WAY more relaxed than I really thought it could be. She jokes with us and listens to us when we have a question and she is always willing to help. She even lets me (with her help) put Avery back into her incubator when i am done holding.

So far we have been pretty lucky in our NICU stay so i want to say a HUGE THANKS to everyone that has been and continues to pray for Avery, she is a little miracle!